Guest in Your Heart / Writing

Open NOT Broken

Month: September, 2013

In Honor of Loneliness

A writer I admire asked her students to write about loneliness and our relationship to our own lonely states. It has had me thinking for days. Here’s what I wrote.
My loneliness has been trying to get my attention since infancy. She was the one who said, “Rest baby. Just sleep,” she was a fairy god mother showing me how to take refuge in the sub-conscious.
Loneliness made me seek out comedy which I adored. I memorized SNL skits, Steve Martin albums and admired Burt on Soap who thought he was invisible when he moved his arms just so.

My loneliness was a magnet that flung pens into my hand so I would write in my journal. I learned early that writing truthfully would lighten my load and my life even if I was writing about heavy topics or melancholy.

My loneliness let me find the soft fur of animals who I would pet, feed and play with as early as I can remember. Bread and pasta would also be used to sand down the edges of raw emotion. It would take time before I would stop covering over the broken glass with towels before learning it is wiser to get a broom and risk nicked fingertips rather than walking timidly on the planet.

I love my loneliness and her patience. She courted me, guided me and looked out for me. In loneliness I have read, sculpted, collaged, rested under blankets in front of t.v., eaten too much and written. I have listened to music, books on tape, stared at the ocean and up at the moving shapes of clouds. Loneliness is a reliable and mostly gentle companion who only serves to soothe and welcome and mother. Sometimes she tries too hard to make me feel better and I love her for that excess as well.

Loneliness is only a shy introvert more comfortable at home than at a party. She’s not stuck up or aloof, only appears that way until you get to know her. Like tears, which I resist, and always feel better for afterwards, loneliness is a door. She’s loyal, loving and only looking for my full attention. Once I give it, she opens the door all of the way and inspiration follows.


Shocking Video! But Why?

I saw this video posted on Facebook today.

It shocked me the first time I watched as though porn was live streaming on my computer. I was a bit offended and had a WTF reaction.

We live in a culture where women are props in videos all of the time, so often that it barely gets attention. I consider myself a feminist but even after I watched the original video I still found it somehow less shocking than the mock version. Over time, I’ve become desensitized which is why this video is brilliant. It woke me up and I’ve watched it five times already.

It’s direct. It’s provocative. It’s also sad because. How come we have to reverse roles completely in order to see the core sexism that can just seem somehow acceptable because it’s so pervasive and common?

I’m passing this along as it made me think and laugh, off and on, all morning.

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